Against oneself or comfortable in our own skin

    When learning about oneself, it can be hard not to take what other's have said and use that against ourself!

    I have been, again, traversing an educational "course" that depicts aspects about actions, facial features and thinking processes. The next stage is energy levels. This, I'm interested in because for years I have been told who I am and I find I either fight it or acclimate to what I'm told. (I fight it a lot!) 

    My mother liked to tell me I was stubborn and selfish. As an adult I have not met too many people as selfish as my mother....and yet she had a "seemingly" unselfish side too....as long as she made clear all that she had done and sacrificed (especially the sacrifices) to do whatever she had accomplished "for you." (I digress.)

    It's funny to me that I was doing fine until the part where this course claimed what came next would be fun. This I struggled with and it took a week for me to get through one 20 min. session. I had to go back multiple times as well.  (though luckily not a week each time) I am the dynamic type. The one everyone thinks is too pushy or assertive.  Amazingly, I seem to be the only one who gets things done in my immediate family. I wonder why.

    See, the "course" I'm following recognizes our traits and focuses them as strengths instead of detailing how the "downsides" need to be "fixed." It does acknowledge that some traits are difficult for some people but interestingly that tends to be due to how their own traits function. (Funny that!) 

    For instance, a person who tends to be calm, cool and relaxed can find someone like me maddeningly boorish! I had decided that calm, cool and relaxed people were boring, lazy and undependable. They seem to never get things done. At least, I used to feel that way.  : } 

    It seems to always come down to perspective. How we view someone determines whether we get along with that person or not. That would include our perceptions about ourselves.  If we think of ourselves as boorish or lazy then we tend to dislike ourselves because those negative words don't take into account the benefits those traits can be, nor does it recognize more positive ways to describe them.  If we see ourselves as assertive or relaxed then we may be more comfortable in our own skin, assuming you don't see either of these words as negative.  Definitions of words mean different things to different people.  

    If we change our views, maybe we can see the positives someone can be in particular situations. Even if we don't want to be around that person, maybe we can still choose to view them differently which will change our perspective of them.