"Find your passion and your goals will be met!" is the new/latest mantra. (ok, not a new concept but new words.) How on earth does one find one's passion (when we aren't allowed to be passionate)? There is a whole world out there and I feel that by the time I get out there, I'm going to be so old and decrepit I won't even be able to see....or walk.
Ok, now I'm just being negative. :( Such an easy place to be...but not really. Negativity sucks the life from you and leaves you as an empty shell. Maybe I can't write. Maybe I can't sing, but I love to do it anyway. I really don't like writing but I do like to discuss things with others.
So many things have changed for me in the last year that I find myself unable to really paraphrase it all. I've "discovered" myself and found I love and hate myself(maybe I should have a one on one with Smeagol(I love spelling correcting software!)). I feel I really do have good points to discuss that I was not aware of(I mean how could there have been any good in me if I was a punishment for my mom from one of her past lives as she would often say to me?)
So many things have changed for me in the last year that I find myself unable to really paraphrase it all. I've "discovered" myself and found I love and hate myself(maybe I should have a one on one with Smeagol(I love spelling correcting software!)). I feel I really do have good points to discuss that I was not aware of(I mean how could there have been any good in me if I was a punishment for my mom from one of her past lives as she would often say to me?)
I am a great listener(or so I was told before I had kids) and I do get things done. I'm a doer, a finisher and I am learning to love the process as well(not easy as most of those in my life are resisting, complaining and pointing out what's wrong with what and how I'm doing).
It's like contrast has got to become a friend or by the end you are so angry it's not worth having done it, whatever you're doing(that's assuming you don't get so frustrated you quit part way through). Now that my kids are almost all grown(my dh will never grow up) and gone (one left with a desire to never need me again...unless he wants something), I find it hard to transition to rocking chair on the porch.
Almost 16 years of homeschooling 5 kids will take it's toll! Having been so busy(that was my favourite part!!!) and moving to a time in my life where I'm "bored"(just like I told my kids they should NEVER be) makes me wonder if I'm really through.
Looking for my passion and missing the mark...so far. ;) It's out there....or rather, in me somewhere and I plan on finding it sooner than later. Preferably before I'm too old to not enjoy it, whatever IT is. It will be GREAT!!!
